It absolutely never amazes or shocks me anymore when guys call for phone sex saying “Hello Miss Melanie this is pathetic loser (insert your name here)”. What is my immediate reaction to this revelation? I start laughing my ass off of course. Although I am going to have to be careful, I mean I do have a luscious ass afterall and it would be a pity to lose it by laughing too hard. I know all pathetic losers think they are so different when in fact you are just as nasty as the last pathetic loser doing anything to get close to me. Eating my boogers, sniffing my ass and getting farted on, sucking the toe jam from my stinky toes. I mean seriously you will do anything I want you to do just to entertain me. Hell I have even made pathetic losers dunk their heads in their toilets and blow bubbles with the water and flush. Ever had a swirlie given to you by a beautiful brat? I know a few have. Maybe you would like to be a part of Miss Melanies swirlie club! I mean I have the office panty club why not the flush your head in the toilet club? You are pathetic after all and I enjoy every little minute of your patheticness just to entertain me.

Sadistic phone sex comes very naturally to me. Take one of my latest callers for example. This guy called and got put through his paces big time. Anything to amuse me, remember I am supreme, I reign over your cock, your balls, and definitely your orgasm. I am sure you are asking yourself what did I exactly do to him? Well, I backhanded him over and over again across the face, made him drink my spit, ball busted his balls with my foot, sat on his face and smothered him among other things. That was such a fun fucking call and I want more, more, more. Yes that makes me a greedy bitch but I so loved getting sadistic on his ass. I guess you could say that there is a mean side to me along with the brat. Oh yeah and I farted all over his face when I smothered him. This guy was squealing like a girl when he came hard. I guess the farts pushed him over the edge.

Apparently paper clip dick liked seeing how I wrote about him here at Phone Sex Brats diary; so much so that he had to prove to me that the pic of the tiny dick with the paper clip on it was in fact his very own dick. Yes it is him and yes that fucking thing is tiny. He even got out a birthday candle and the candle was even longer than his little dick. It was so fucking funny and all I did was laugh. The only thing he has going for him is that his balls are in proportion to his dick. Yes that means paper clip dick has tiny balls too. I mean I have seen some small dicked men with massive balls and it’s like where the hell is the big dick to go with those balls, it just kind of disappears into the balls. This is funny too but in the case of paper clip dick he does have a dick and balls just really small ones. It’s like his dick and balls forgot that they are supposed to grow. It’s THAT tiny. No wonder he loves to be humiliated about it. There is no pretending that his thing is some huge monster cock or something because it isn’t and he knows it.

I can’t wait until he has the time to put on a full show for me on cam. That will be massive entertainment!

Here’s a little tip from one of my customers if you are hunting for a place to put your frilly girly panties away and be certain that your wife or girlfriend won’t EVER find them. Let me give you a little hint. It has to do with a sport that a lot of corporate males play. Stumped? Well its simple really, just put your little pink girly panties in your golf bag. I know it’s funny because I seriously laughed my ass off at a customer who told me that he always hides his panties in his golf bag so his wife wouldn’t find them. Can you imagine this wife going through a bag that she normally pays no attention to and finding like four to five pairs of women’s panties in it? Now I know that she most likely wouldn’t assume that those panties are her husbands. I am certain she would assume that he’s been cheating on her at the golf course when in fact he probably wears panties while playing golf.

Even though it is funnier than shit, I still thought it was rather creative and had to write about it. So to all you little panty freaks out there, where in the hell do you hide them from wifey? Call me and let me know.