I am a female, I do have needs, I do get horny. Yes I love dominating the living fuck out of guys that are wimps and losers. Hell I kick ass at it. But, every once in a while a guy will call for regular phone sex. Although it usually involves some kink and nastiness. Yesterday was one of those days and he happened to be one of those callers that knew how to get my thighs steaming and my pussy dripping wet. A real man to fuck your bratty Princess. You only wish you were man enough to be able to handle me sexually. It takes a strong man with a great imagination to get me going.

So if you are man enough and want to fuck me, I challenge you to try to get me going. I may just blow your mind among other things.

What a fun call! I am typing this shortly after getting a call from the guy that I have named “stinky tongue”. Why that name? Well, his story is a rather interesting one. He was married but he has a small, pathetic excuse for a dick and his wife dominated him while they were married. He was to worship and tongue her butt hole whenever she wanted him to. Apparently this was an all the time chore for him. First thing in the morning, lick it. Home from work, lick it. And on and on. Since this guy has such a tiny dick, yes the poor guy wishes he had a huge cock I mean who doesn’t, it’s no wonder his wife left him for the guy she was fucking. In a way he was like a cuckold but really all he ever sucked on was her strapon cock. Fast forward to the present. She came over this week and he was so ashamed, he ended up totally licking on her shoes worshiping them. The oral slave missed his servitude and it showed. According to him, his ex did say that she missed him worshiping her ass because her boyfriend won’t do it. Hello, big dicked men shouldn’t have to worship anything. Nasty tongue begged to be allowed to lick her ass again but she didn’t give up the goods. As soon as she left he was jerking like crazy and just had to call me to confess how pathetic he is. Especially since now he was fantasizing about sucking her lover’s big cock and worshiping her asshole in front of her boyfriend. He never has sucked real man meat before and keeps trying to go to the glory hole. Give it time nasty tongue, I will get you do to it, trust Princess Melanie.

I am a cock milker. Not a huge surprise there, I do afterall advertise for it. But, obviously since I am not physically there you are the one that is going to milk your cock for me, following my jerk off directions. One such caller is totally addicted to my voice and how I tell him to stroke. Yeah it’s kind of like tease and denial but I never do deny the cumming part. This caller absolutely loves how I tell him to grab his dick, how fast to stroke, how to touch the head. Teasing him into a frenzy and then having him slow back down. Only to make him beg to shoot his penis. Yes, he likes to call it a penis. Not a cock or dick but a penis. Of course that totally makes sense since he is a small dicked wonder. His penis doesn’t deserve to be called anything else but a penis. I always laugh when he calls me because I can hear in his voice that he’s been playing with his boner dwarf for a while. But, he does get a few Princess Melanie gold stars because he lasts a while. We all know how quick a small penis will shoot and he tries so hard to be a good boy for me and he will again and again and again.

Princess Melanie your bravery has inspired me.

I guess it is because you are a powerful woman and I am a just a warm, wet, gooey hole to be used that you are able to bring up things that I am afraid to. Now because of you and your extraordinary Girl Power, I too can tell my fart story. For so long men have told me and made me believe I am not allowed to fart you have freed me into the world of passing gas!

My story starts like this:

I was busy gagging on cock and sucking balls with this Dom guy I know and in my usual fashion, I wanted to please him and asked if he had ever had his ass eaten.

He told me he had not but seemed very enthusiastic at the idea of my little pink tongue sliding into his butt hole. So I had him lay back, spread his legs and bull them back toward his shoulders for maximum tongue action. I swear his ass was tighter than a mosquito’s ass stretched over a rain barrel.

I looked up from between his legs and said, “You need to relax”. “Unclench” I asked.

Big Mistake!

As soon I got my lips suctioned back onto that hairy asshole this big whoosh of air hissed into my mouth and I had no choice but to inhale and began gagging and laughing as it streamed out of my nose.

Let me tell you when a fart works its way through your respiratory system it takes on a whole new meaning not to mention magnification.

He was mortified but fortunately my laughter eased his embarrassment and we now both have a stinky, dirty little secret.

The sissies have been out in full force. Is it a full moon? I swear they come out in droves during a full moon, kind of like warewolfs or something, heh. You just have to love a little slut in red lacey panties shaking his ass for me and then being used however I want to use him.

For instance the slut I just got off the phone with was dressed in red lacey panties and had clamps and a dildo available for use. Well really he was the toy being used not the other way around, but I digress. I made that cock sucking slut gag and sputter all over his dildo, so pathetic. He needs to learn how to suck cock properly, or maybe he’s afraid of becoming good at it because I might just make him go out and suck real dick. Of course then he would graduate to being a sissy faggot, lol. Once he got that dildo nice and wet with his spit aka lube he rammed it up his corn hole and fucked his man pussy for me nice an hard. I swear he was squeeling like a pig but he squeeled even more when he had to pull the nipple clamps down every time he rammed the dildo into his pussy. The grand finale was making him get down on the floor and hump the carpet with those red panties on and spooge in them. His encore was to suck his cum out of them. So entertaining. Sissy, panties, dildo, clamps, cum eating.

I swear when I am PMS’ing I can totally get off on making a subbie bitch slap his nuts like silly for me on the phone. Such a call came in just the other day. I was pissed off over something that one of my cats knocked off my desk, namely my printer. The phone interrupted me picking up the pieces but this bitch saved me from going ballistic on my cat. He reaped the benefits of my entirely pissed off mood. The stupid shit didn’t even tell me what he was into, apparently I am also a psychic as well as a Princess. Fine then, you can’t tell me what you like you will be punished, start smacking your balls. He was instructed to do it again and again until he came without touching his icky stick. I even made him count each wack with them getting harder and harder. He wasn’t doing it hard enough for my liking so out came the wooden spoon. For those of you who don’t know what this feels like I suggest you go get the wooden spoon and then start smacking yourself with it. It’s not a very pleasant feeling even to pain sluts. He wailed about having to go get the damned spoon which just made me even madder. Needless to say his balls were completely red from being busted and he came all over the damned place. Good times.

It’s not a huge stretch that I am very much into my ass being worshiped. If I were a guy I would seriously love my ass. Nice and plump and perfect for worship. What really entertains me is when I get a guy calling that wants to sniff my farts. I mean totally beg me to fart all over his face and tongue, force him to sniff no matter how much he protests. Even making the fart sounds over the phone makes me laugh. How could I not laugh at these freaks wanting my farts. I swear if I could bottle the scent of my stink bomb farts I could sell it. Tons of men across the country sniffing Eau de Princess Melanie, lol! Like that is about to happen anyhow. There aren’t a whole lot of men worthy enough to even worship my ass let alone sniff my farts. I can just imagine this “fart biter” (imagine that said with a Boston accent” with is tongue in my ass and all the sudden I let one rip right onto his tongue and he starts gagging on the odor. Fuck I am evil and I love it

When cock teasing meets the silver screen it can make you shake your head and say “I cannot believe I did that……and liked it.” I will never think of pink Cadillacs the same way again.

What began as very tame call, a kind of get to know you conversation, turned into my sky scraper swallowing cunt saving the world, all because of his trip to see The Transformers. He went from dull to sci-fi porno in .5 seconds flat.

The gorgeous pink Cadillac Coup Deville with the perfect rear end and huge bright headlights was transformed by the awe inspiring power of the inter-dimensional green laser butt pokey. This however not the only laser to be seen brightening the dark night sky. There were three green beams and three red.

I, the gorgeous pink Cadillac became Cockteasious Prime, leader of the Autobutts, ten stories of T&A. I was instinctually aware of my mission to destroy the leader of the Deceptacunts, Mandytron, the enemy of all that was good.

Mere moments had passed before six gigantic sex pots faced off in the center of the city. My two allies Delilock and the Shannonator reached for the only ammunition that was available to us, the multitudes of scurrying men running helplessly in the streets below. Each of us scooped up our unwitting victims and simultaneously plunged them into our wet mouth holes, getting them ready for what was to cum.

I jerked my pretty pink panties to the side and sat down on the ground spread my legs cocking each of them back and inserted my little missile man head first into my power pussy. One huge thrust and men were flying but it wouldn’t be long before the Deceptacunts returned fire with a volley of their own.

The war between the Deceptacunts and the Autobutts had only just begun when the caller exploded into his little hand. However my time as a sci-fi porn star was awesome, it had the macrophile man on his knees.