There are fetishes for everything under the sun and then some. I thought I knew a lot of them, I do realize I am young but that doesn’t mean that I am dumb and full of cum (well if it’s a big cock and I am cuckolding you then yes I am full of cum but that’s different entirely).

Anyhow, back to fetishes. I had a guy call last week and I swear any time I laughed, which I do a lot by the way, he kept trying to repeat the way that I laughed. I mean he would attempt to copy how it was that I was laughing. It took me a while to get out of him why the hell he was doing this. Apparently this guy about cums when he hears a woman laughing and is trying to learn how to laugh like a woman so he can get off on his own. I have one thing to say “keep practicing dude because you aren’t even close to accomplishing that”. I can understand if the laughing is coupled with small dick humiliation but this wasn’t the case, he just wants to hear women laugh. The laughing boy thought that I was going to laugh him to orgasm. Too bad he ran out of money, which is making me laugh even harder now, or maybe I would have laughed him to orgasm.

Things that make you go hmmm. Now I am going to wonder how many guys pop boners in their pants when they hear chicks laugh. Sometimes I swear I would love to do some sort of survey on weird fetishes to find out how many people actually have this one.

I know that there are a lot of “virgin like” boys just staring at my pics on phone sex brats. I mean come on, you look, you get hard, you drool and you wank but you never get up enough balls to call me live. Are you afraid that I am going to bite? Well, maybe I will. But you won’t know unless you call me.

I call guys like you “virgin like” because it reminds me of the guys that I used to date before I had experience who would fumble and stutter or be way too shy and embarassed to say anything.

Remember “virgin like” boys this is phone sex. I am not face to face with you, trust me, you wouldn’t be able to handle it. I am a voice connected to pictures that you have been jerking your dick to for months. Just pick up that phone, get your credit card, call the 800 number and say “hello Miss Melanie, I am shy” and I will take it from there.

You know what they say, there is always a first time for everything and I do believe it’s the first time for you to get up enough nerve to call me.

Total financial ruin. Isn’t that just a lovely sentence? God how it rolls off my tongue so easily. Financial ruin can be so many different things to so many people. Maxing out credit cards, eating up savings, not being able to pay bills or eat, or maybe hitting rock bottom. See Princess Melanie wants to ruin you financially. Why? Because it’s fun as fuck and I get off on it. I have been told so many times by my callers “damn you are serious aren’t you?” yes I am I can be rather in your face, so to speak. I am beautiful, I am worth it, I have money but screw it I want yours, I want more so it’s so easy. Get out the credit card and max it out. It won’t hurt until you get your credit card statement and if you have to get another job while I go off having fun with your money. Somebody has to pay for my manicures and pedicures and facials and clothes and bills. Why should I do it when you can and trust me you will.

Total financial ruin is just a call away. I am spoiled rotten and I am a brat so live with it. Oh that’s right you wish you did, don’t you?

I have been doing this for a while now but every once in a while I get a very odd phone sex call. This one has to be totally up there on the freak meter. Yes one of the things that I really enjoy doing is exploting the fetishes of weak submissive males. This guy that called yesterday has an extensive list of fetishes as follows:
1. Sniffing massively nasty stinky socks. But it doesn’t have to be socks that were on a female, he actually loves his own stinky socks. How gross and disgusting!
2. His dick gets hard at the sound of breaking glass. Yes I have heard of this before.
3. His dick will hurt when he hears girls screaming, like in horror movies, at the top of their lungs.
4. He completely goes ga ga over hearing Mariah Carey hit high notes while singing. Which then goes into his last fetish —
5. Hearing female opera singers hit high notes.

Alrighty then! That is a massively huge list and very entertaining. I told him that he would be in seventh heaven on a roller coaster full of women at an amusement park with a tube sock tied around his face with the stinky part at his nose and a bag full of plates just waiting for the first loop. Of course Mariah Carey needs to be playing in the background.

OMG I am laughing so hard I am snorting.

So are you even MORE bizarre and freaky than him?

I have a regular that loves to be manipulated by pics of my ass. This has been going on for some time now and I can’t blame him really. It’s massively fun! I make him open pay to view emails, meaning he has to pay even though he isn’t doing a phone sex call with me. Time IS money. Why would I do it for free? Well not this brat, no way, no how! He’s wanking, he pays even if he doesn’t get to hear the voice to go along with my luscious ass.

Then my phone rings on Friday and wouldn’t you know it, it was the dork panting on the phone. I swear I felt like I was doing a combo of a humiliation call and an ignore call. He didn’t say but maybe five words the whole time he was on the phone with me. And I had all the ammunition I needed to humiliate him and cut him to the core. I am actually shocked that his dick didn’t spurt while I was on the phone with him. It took more pay to view manipulation for him to shoot.

In the end I made more and was entertained by his complete stupidity. And this I know, he will come back again and again and again. My ass is just THAT great, tee hee.

Humiliation seems to be a theme this week, at least for my customers. So what did Princess Melanie do this time? This wimp was begging the hell out of me to humiliate him in any way that my wicked little mind could come up with. So what did I do? I made him get on his hands and knees, stick out his tongue and mop the floor. Oh yummy dust bunnies! It was so fucking funny to listen to him licking the floor. Yes I heard it!! May as well do something with your nasty tongue. Most guys want to worship my ass but I wanted to have fun with him.

But there is a grand finale before his icky dick shot. Not only did he mop the floor with his tongue he had to put his balls in a drawer and slam it shut. “Smack” there goes the balls and here comes the cum.

Remember one way or another and Miss Melanie will milk your cock.

My shy boy keeps calling and calling and calling for phone sex. Actually I should say he calls hoping for phone sex, lol. He is allowed to touch his dick while we are on the phone but I don’t let him cum the normal way. It’s a shoot the cum on your face situation or no cumming at all. Which he laughs and giggles and gets totally shy about and it makes me laugh so bad because I know he wants to cum in a normal fashion but I just won’t allow him to.

When he’s not on the phone with me he has been told that he can only hump his pillow and not actually touch his dick. He complained so bad the last time he called because he could never get his dick to shoot when he humped his pillow and I told him that he needs to hump it harder in order to get enough friction on his dick to cum. He finally succeeded this last time but he threw a twist into things on his own. He humped the throw carpet in his bathroom. I laughed so fucking hard I was in tears. A grown man living with his mom, humping the crap out of the bathroom throw rug. I mean it’s one thing to cum on a pillow case, take it off, throw it in the washer and have the evidence gone but cumming on a bathroom rug is another story. I can only imagine what his mom thought about that one. Even now I am laughing.

No more pillow or throw rug humping for this shy boy. He better be good and do exactly as I say. Having fun with protien facials shy boy? hahahaha

So the caller that is totally shy that lives with his mom, called yet again. The last time we spoke I told him that he wouldn’t be allowed to stroke his dick to my pictures if he wasn’t able to call me. But I know for a fact his weenie gets nice and hard every time he looks at my huge tits and nice ass. So, I told him that if he gets nice and hard he can hump his pillow like a little pillow humping loser and cum all over the pillow case. Apparently he doesn’t get enough friction to cum all over, which really made me laugh. I see guys on cam constantly humping away and cumming for me with pillow friction. I guess he thought I was going to tell him he could stroke normally but I really do like him humiliating himself for me so I told him that he would still have to hump away at his pillow just harder. I am getting a massive kick out of imagining how he’s going to hid a cum shot on his pillow case. I mean his mother does the laundry, it would seem a little odd if he decided to wash his own sheets. I am so evil and wicked, I absolutely love it. Hump it shy boy, I know you are reading this.

It absolutely never amazes or shocks me anymore when guys call for phone sex saying “Hello Miss Melanie this is pathetic loser (insert your name here)”. What is my immediate reaction to this revelation? I start laughing my ass off of course. Although I am going to have to be careful, I mean I do have a luscious ass afterall and it would be a pity to lose it by laughing too hard. I know all pathetic losers think they are so different when in fact you are just as nasty as the last pathetic loser doing anything to get close to me. Eating my boogers, sniffing my ass and getting farted on, sucking the toe jam from my stinky toes. I mean seriously you will do anything I want you to do just to entertain me. Hell I have even made pathetic losers dunk their heads in their toilets and blow bubbles with the water and flush. Ever had a swirlie given to you by a beautiful brat? I know a few have. Maybe you would like to be a part of Miss Melanies swirlie club! I mean I have the office panty club why not the flush your head in the toilet club? You are pathetic after all and I enjoy every little minute of your patheticness just to entertain me.

Sadistic phone sex comes very naturally to me. Take one of my latest callers for example. This guy called and got put through his paces big time. Anything to amuse me, remember I am supreme, I reign over your cock, your balls, and definitely your orgasm. I am sure you are asking yourself what did I exactly do to him? Well, I backhanded him over and over again across the face, made him drink my spit, ball busted his balls with my foot, sat on his face and smothered him among other things. That was such a fun fucking call and I want more, more, more. Yes that makes me a greedy bitch but I so loved getting sadistic on his ass. I guess you could say that there is a mean side to me along with the brat. Oh yeah and I farted all over his face when I smothered him. This guy was squealing like a girl when he came hard. I guess the farts pushed him over the edge.